For most of us, we came of age in the era of Facebook. We created our profiles in high school and college. With a single mouse click, we could stay in touch with all of our “friends.” No more having to pick up the phone and call or text someone. It could all be done by leaving a very passive message.
Facebook taps into our human need for CONNECTION. And, it amplifies and quantifies it to a level never seen before. Connection is what gives our lives purpose and makes us want to get up and live another day.
The problem arises when the thing- in this case Facebook- that helps us grow more connected to each other is also robbing us of those same connections. It is contributing to a growing sense of angst, lack of purpose and disconnection.
We live in a world now where our lives are on full display and in critique of our 500+ Facebook friends. Every status update, photo, and video is seen through our friends’ eyes.
While that can create deeper connections, it also can create a need to script our lives, by only showing the best of the best moments. We feel like our ordinary moments- which let’s face it are most things- are too mundane. So, instead we only post the best of the best.
Think about it.
We spend months- if not years- planning our dream Facebook wedding(s). Sometimes even getting started before you even land a man. Come on ladies, we all have that single friend- or friends- who have wedding Pinterest boards.
We spend an hour plus in front of the mirror getting ready in the morning or before a big event.
We disregard 10+ selfies, before finally choosing the one to post on Facebook and Instagram.
All in a way to showcase our most perfect version of our self. In reality, all this ends up doing is creating more and more shame for ourselves and the ones around us. Something I personally know a thing or two about.
According to TED Speaker, Brene Brown, shame is really “the fear of disconnection.” It’s the feeling of not being good enough. Of not being worthy of feeling connected.
She argues the only way we can get past this is by allowing ourselves to be seen in our most vulnerable state.
It’s about living intentionally and letting go of our need for CONTROL in exchange for raw, extreme vulnerability.
Believe me, I know this is much easier to say than do. It’s hard to relinquish the desires to want to control and predict everything we put out there and instead live intentionally by sharing the good, the bad and the very, very emotionally raw.
How are you planning to live more intentionally? Please share below in the comments or by emailing me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org?