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Archive | Gen Y

The Dangers Of Living “A Facebook Life”

For most of us, we came of age in the era of Facebook. We created our profiles in high school and college. With a single mouse click, we could stay in touch with all of our “friends.” No more having to pick up the phone and call or text someone. It could all be done by leaving a very passive message.

Facebook taps into our human need for CONNECTION. And, it amplifies and quantifies it to a level never seen before. Connection is what gives our lives purpose and makes us want to get up and live another day.

The problem arises when the thing- in this case Facebook- that helps us grow more connected to each other is also robbing us of those same connections. It is contributing to a growing sense of angst, lack of purpose and disconnection.

We live in a world now where our lives are on full display and in critique of our 500+ Facebook friends. Every status update, photo, and video is seen through our friends’ eyes.

While that can create deeper connections, it also can create a need to script our lives, by only showing the best of the best moments. We feel like our ordinary moments- which let’s face it are most things- are too mundane. So, instead we only post the best of the best.

Think about it.

We spend months- if not years- planning our dream Facebook wedding(s). Sometimes even getting started before you even land a man. Come on ladies, we all have that single friend- or friends- who have wedding Pinterest boards.

We spend an hour plus in front of the mirror getting ready in the morning or before a big event.

We disregard 10+ selfies, before finally choosing the one to post on Facebook and Instagram.

All in a way to showcase our most perfect version of our self. In reality, all this ends up doing is creating more and more shame for ourselves and the ones around us. Something I personally know a thing or two about.

According to TED Speaker, Brene Brown, shame is really “the fear of disconnection.” It’s the feeling of not being good enough. Of not being worthy of feeling connected.

She argues the only way we can get past this is by allowing ourselves to be seen in our most vulnerable state.

It’s about living intentionally and letting go of our need for CONTROL in exchange for raw, extreme vulnerability.

Believe me, I know this is much easier to say than do. It’s hard to relinquish the desires to want to control and predict everything we put out there and instead live intentionally by sharing the good, the bad and the very, very emotionally raw.

How are you planning to live more intentionally? Please share below in the comments or by emailing me directly at


An Open Letter To All College Students

A couple of weeks ago I watched my baby brother walk down the aisle at his high school graduation. While I’m not sure how mature I am (seriously are we ever really grown ups?)  watching the speeches at my brother’s graduation gave me a new perspective.

While I know many of the challenges they are going to face in college and beyond (as I’m encountering many of them myself), there’s something awe-inspiring about their can-do attitudes and youthful optimism. And also a bit depressing when some of these kids have already done more than I will ever do. Seriously, one of my brother’s friends already runs a successful nonprofit at 18. At 18, I barely knew how to turn on the oven. Sadly.

Anywhoo. As I get older and more engrained in the real world work culture, I see more and more friends and colleagues giving up on their dreams. Be it for a significant other, their kids, or just because they think they are too old. That’s nothing short of disheartening.

We need to channel and preserve our imagination, scrappiness and can-do attitude that we had in high school and college.

Some may disagree. Others may call it naive. But I feel this is what will separate the dreamers from the doers.

Anyone can dream big. But unless you act on it and take a few risks, dreams mean nothing. You will be just another grown up, who has settled for a comfortable life where you are simply going through the motions on autopilot.

Once you get on autopilot mode, your blinders get larger and your willingness to take risks gets smaller. You get used to being comfortable. Then months turn to years, years to decades. Suddenly you are middle aged with kids who need to go to college, a mortgage, debt and some new health conditions. You realize that all your dreams and ambitions have gone by the wayside. It’s going to be much harder to achieve them -if not nearly impossible- as you get older.

I’m not sure about you but this absolutely terrifies me. I don’t want to settle for just an okay life because it’s safe and comfortable.

It’s seeing kids that in all due respect are only seven and eight years younger than me that have reminded me about that.

The only thing scarier than following your big, scary dreams from high school and college is choosing to abandon them for the safe and comfortable route.  As my favorite high school science teacher and mentor would say, life is meant to be lived outside of your comfort zone. 

What’s your big scary dream? And how are you going to pursue it? Please share in the comments below or email me directly.

The Definitive Guide For How To Make And Keep Friends In Your 20s (Free Ebook)

Download link to the free ebook

I am sitting here with Evernote open and a blank page starring back. All I keep thinking about is what makes me qualified to write an ebook all around making and keeping friendships.

Let’s be honest. I am after all probably the least qualified person to write a book about making new friends and keeping the old ones alive and in tact. I am perpetually shy and can be socially awkward when I am around strangers. I hate the feeling of going to large meetups where I know nobody.  And, I think the word, “networking” sounds dirty.

Let’s face it. I’m the classic Type A, semi-socially awkward, over-analyzing introvert (Yes, I admit it). I run away or chicken out from most meetups. In turn, my desire for the safe and familiar land of my couch and a seemingly never-ending Netflix queue has probably kept me from meeting a lot of really awesome, badass people. So, why on this planet should anyone read a book from someone like me?

As one of my favorite songs came on my Spotify Playlist: One Life by Boyce Avenue, the main chorus came blaring on. . .

“Open your eyes.

And know you’re free to come alive.

You’ve got to live it while you can.

We only get one life”

That’s when I had an epiphany. We only have one life. We all given a set number of days on this Earth. We just don’t know how many we have left. And, we all crave connections and the feelings of being wanted. We want the best moments of our lives to be ones that we shared with our closest friends and/or family. It’s after all human nature to want to feel loved, wanted and unconditionally accepted.

The hard part to accept is this isn’t a God-given right. It takes a lot of work to build lasting, true friendships that will last a lifetime. Or, even just good friendships that will last a few months or years.

In this ebook, I have compiled tips from 30+ truly inspiring, badass 20 and early 30-somethings. It’s separated into two sections. One for making new friends. And, another for keeping existing friendships through all of the changes that life throws at us.

I honestly don’t know how many people will read it. I don’t know how many will even care. While I secretly hope this spreads like wildfire, if this book can just deeply touch and resonate with just one person, I am confident all the self-doubt and confidence issues that I dealt with while working on this will be worth it.

Download the Free Ebook below!

Gen Y Budgeting Tips: 11 Things You Shouldn’t Try To Buy Cheap

If you are in your twenties, like me, there’s a good chance that you aren’t exactly rolling in large amounts of money. Budgeting builds character and responsibility. When you find something below your budget, it can feel super empowering. However, not all cheap deals are worth taking. Here’s a few things that you really shouldn’t try to get a “deal on.” It may hurt the wallet a bit, but trust me, these things are worth it.

1. Laser Hair Removal/Botox/Plastic Surgery

Now, I’ve lost count of the number of daily deal emails I’ve seen for Botox and other body-enhancing medical procedures. Let’s just say qualifications, experience and referrals should triumph a potentially life-threatening cheap find.

2. Gun Safety and Instruction Classes

This should be a no brainer. If I’m going to learn to operate something that can potentially harm me and the people around me, I want to make sure I’m in good experienced hands.

3. Sushi

It’s raw fish. Seeing a deal should raise your spidey senses. Food poisoning, anyone?

4. Physicians

I’ve kind of touched upon this already, but the best doctors are the ones with raving referrals and an extensive track record of excellence. That’s usually not the cheap ones on deal sites.

5. Lawyers

Again, this is just like physicians. Experience and an excellent track record should triumph getting a good deal.

6. Mechanics and auto repairs

Now, I confess I always feel like a fish out of water in auto repair shops. I always have that vague sense I’m going to be ripped off, but I don’t really know enough to ask. That being said if you don’t want to find yourself stranded on the highway, it’s best to make sure that you find reputable mechanics.

7. Skydiving

Now, if you are crazy enough to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, I’d hope you would research the skydiving company and their safety history. But then again, you could just be crazy enough to buy a deal anyway, and then I wish you the best of luck.

8. Lifevests and life rafts

If you ever found yourself in the unfortunate situation of being in a boat wreck, the last thing you probably want to think about is if your life raft will keep you afloat until you get back on dry land.

9. Condoms

If you aren’t ready to be a mommy or daddy yet? Or, don’t want any STDs? You should probably spend the extra dollar(s) on the legit condoms. Nuff said.

10. Travel/Vacations

Vacations are a chance for you to de-stress, relax, and make memories that will last a lifetime. Sacrificing fun and relaxation for the cheapest deals is not recommended. If you have the resources (or wait a few extra months to save), so you can splurge on that nice hotel room or the flight that doesn’t live at 4 a.m. from the airport that is 1.5 hour from your house.

11. Mattresses

Bed bugs, anyone? Not only will you most likely be sacrificing comfort, but who wants to buy and sleep on that “gently used” mattress full of dust mites, hair, and God knows what else.

What items do you never buy cheap? Please leave them below in the comment section.